Single adopter truths

Sometimes days pass without anyone smiling at us.

We make our own cup of coffee, hands shaking, when the meltdown finally settles. We tell ourselves that we’ve done okay. We find the ways to hug ourselves better. We seek our own answers to the questions and doubts. We remind ourselves that we are enough. We whisper our own kind words.

We fix the broken things. We pick up the pieces. We pass the baton from one hand to the other when the yelling gets too much. We are the cavalry that comes when we fail. We switch from a punchbag to a comforter in the blink of a smarting eye. We bear the only witness for the depths of their pain. We speak the loving words while in the eye of their storm. We play the good cop, and the bad cop too. We check ourselves when we need to cool down. We have to guess where we’ve got it right, and when we’re wrong. We pack all the tools for the skillset needed to guide them.

We wipe the noses, we kiss the knees while we make the phone calls, and miss work for the meetings. We chase the forms and the promises. We write the letters and do the research. We are their fierce and only defender, advocate and envoy. We chase our worries round and round inside our heads with nowhere to share them. We sit alone to process in silence once the day is through.

If a single adopter falls in a forest and no one is there to hear, do they make a sound?

If we don’t tell twitter, then no body knows #singleadoptertruths 

6 thoughts on “Single adopter truths

  1. Pingback: #SiABlo week 2: single adopter blogs round up

  2. Being an adoptive parent is a tough gig. I’m in my own mostmof the time but I can occasionally hand the baton over. It must be tough being all and everything xx

    • Yes, it definitely affects us all during that 1:1 time with our kids. It just goes to show how essential support from ‘outside the home’ is for our families. Mx

  3. In the last 20 years there has been a steady, sizable increase in the number of single-parent adoptions. Why would a successful, independent single man or woman want to give up his or her freedom and assume the responsibilities of raising a child? The desire to nurture and to share life as a family is a strong universal need that is felt by a large number of people and one that is not exclusive to married people or couples.

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