A need inside has been growing.
Competing with the responsibilities, demands and emergencies that rule and shape my everyday. Finally this desire has won a place in my list of priorities; and a blog is born.
There is so much to tell you, so much ready to spill out of me. But stories are best shared when gently unfolded; so we will start with some basics of navigation in Mumdrah’s world.
Adoption brings out the best, and the very worst in me. It involves a daily discovery of raw inner strength and resource i never new existed; the pure, white love of devotional saints, the blood red claws of a protective lioness. But i also stumble into the black depths of despair, frustration and anger; a selfish triad who slip their chains to release a screaming banshee that – once calm – is crushed by the horrors of her own lack of humanity. The yin and yang of adoption.
I see this as a journey of four parts: birth parent, adoptee, adopter, and the poor bewildered collective of friends and family dragged unwilling into the intrepid journey. They say there is no wilderness left to explore, and yet the outback territory that adoption leads me into requires a machete. There is no compass or map to guide us, no local knowledge to welcome or point to the right path; Debrettes can tell us nothing about the rights and wrongs of charting these rough but rewarding seas.
We hope to navigate our way through, knowing there is no way out. Trying to find and build as much self love and wholeness during our journeying, while scaling the bitterness and trauma to cut it down to size.
Adoption is the forging fire into which we – all four – are thrown; to be hammered, shaped and changed irrevocably. A process which causes as much pain and torment as it does triumph and agape. It builds you up and strips you down, exposes you and isolates you, turns you upside down and inside out.
And i wouldn’t have it any other way.