SiABlo Week 12

Its here again; the weekly round-up of adoption blogs from single adopters.

We’ve tracked down all the single adopter bloggers we can find, and we always welcome newcomers so please do get in contact.

MeandMiniMees: The chat – the vulnerabilities of our teen children are gut wrenchingly exemplified in this post.

AdoptiveBlackMom: My 4th Mother’s Day – a post about how complicated this day is for both mum and daughter.

 

SiABlo Week 5

The weeks fly by! SiABlo Week 5 is open for business.

Here we try and collate all the blogs from single adopters under one roof for easy reading. If you are a single adopter or an adoptee to a single parent and want to contribute, please message me with your blog post URL to be added; no technical link tools here yet – but we do have a thumbnail button to add to your post; grab the html code below.

Old posts or new; we don’t mind! Maybe next week we could even set a theme (suggestions welcome).

ImperfectlyPerfectMother: Too many words means the well runs dry - sometimes as a single adopter there is so much to express that you can’t find the words to say it all.

AdoptiveBlackMom: Hope and worrya self reflection on this single adopter mum’s first 1,140 days of being a parent.

Befuddled Mum: 2 steps forward and 1 step back – on stepping back, picking up the pieces, and supporting our older kids to move forward in their lives.

Another Mountain: I imagined youa deeply intimate description of how the matching process takes us on imagined emotional journeys with children we will never meet.

mumdrah: Fake news – exploring how life is when your inner voice is a high alert saboteur. On amygdalas, guard dogs and the size owl.

mumdrah

#Siablo Week 4

Here is the weekly round up of Single Adopter Blogs for #SiABlo Week 4

To link up, message me with the URL of your post, and grab the button code below to add the thumbnail.

ImperfectlyPerfectMother: The fortress of solitudewhen managing your own internal reactions takes over the managing of external events.

MeandMiniMees: I’m sorry – an honest list f the things adopters find themselves saying sorry for to those people that don’t understand their kids.

Another Mountain: Matchingon the wall of silence one single adopter experienced between the process of approval and matching.

Suddenly Mummy: It’s all gone quiet over here – about the peace that has descended on the house of a ‘dual role’ adopter and foster carer between placements.

Sarah Fisher: De-escalation: will it solve all our problems? on how de-escalation is just a part of the jigsaw of NVR

AdoptiveBlackMom: My triggerson snapping, and digging deep into a situation to understand what is really going on for us.

My Single Adoption: Joy that comes from letting goabout recognising that you are ‘carrying more than you can handle’, and stripping it down.

mumdrah: Holesa post describing the holes we can all so easily fall into every day while dealing with trauma.

SiABlo Week 4

#SiABlo: Week 2

Welcome to #SiABlo: Week 2 of our new Single adopter round up!

Message or DM the links to your single adopter blogs via twitter, and grab the code below to add a #SiABlo: Week 2 button to the post on your site!

meandminimees: ’The next day‘ – tells the story of Day Two in a situation that lasted a whole weekend.

Imperfectly Perfect Mum: The sea of uncertainty and collateral damage – on the dichotomy between rational understanding of our children, and our emotional & physical response.

Starfish and Me:Please see my trauma … but please also see me.‘ – a heartrending letter from little one to the teachers and professionals.

Suddenly Mummy: ’After the adoption order: the medical stuff‘ – on the complications, confusions, missing info and mix ups that come with the legal changes.

mumdrah: ’Single adopter truths‘ - the lowdown on where the buck stops as a single adopter.

Grab the code for #SiABlo Week 2′s button here:

<a href=”http://mumdrah.co.uk/siablo-week-2/ ” target=”_blank”><img src=”http://i38.photobucket.com/albums/e143/mumdrah/Week2_zpsamo5gghm.jpg” border=”0″ alt=” photo Week2_zpsamo5gghm.jpg ” /></a>

Single adopter truths

Sometimes days pass without anyone smiling at us.

We make our own cup of coffee, hands shaking, when the meltdown finally settles. We tell ourselves that we’ve done okay. We find the ways to hug ourselves better. We seek our own answers to the questions and doubts. We remind ourselves that we are enough. We whisper our own kind words.

We fix the broken things. We pick up the pieces. We pass the baton from one hand to the other when the yelling gets too much. We are the cavalry that comes when we fail. We switch from a punchbag to a comforter in the blink of a smarting eye. We bear the only witness for the depths of their pain. We speak the loving words while in the eye of their storm. We play the good cop, and the bad cop too. We check ourselves when we need to cool down. We have to guess where we’ve got it right, and when we’re wrong. We pack all the tools for the skillset needed to guide them.

We wipe the noses, we kiss the knees while we make the phone calls, and miss work for the meetings. We chase the forms and the promises. We write the letters and do the research. We are their fierce and only defender, advocate and envoy. We chase our worries round and round inside our heads with nowhere to share them. We sit alone to process in silence once the day is through.

If a single adopter falls in a forest and no one is there to hear, do they make a sound?

If we don’t tell twitter, then no body knows #singleadoptertruths 

SiABlo

SiABlo

SiABlo – a new place to come and check out the week’s Single Adopter Blogs.

Very informal, no posh linky, just a list of links from people who share the unique experience of adopting on our own.

To submit your blog each week, just direct message your most recent post link via twitter. The full list will be published on Sunday evening, with the new week for submissions starting on Thursday. 

Like this:

Meandminimees: In the middle of a tornado. A great post about seven stormy days in the life of single adopter Matthew Blythe.

Suddenly_Mummy: Interrogation in the supermarket. How curious strangers can spike Life Story traumas for our children.

Imperfectly Blog: Hold onto hope. How dealing with the wider details of life as a single adopter can feel like putting your own needs above those of your child.

Sarah Fisher: Boundaries vs Baskets.Single adopter and NVR coach explains the difference between these two parenting tools.

SAN: our single adopters network

How many parts of our single adopters experience make us ‘out of the ordinary’?  

Single parent? check.  Adopter? check.  Therapeutic Parent to traumatised child/ren? check. Crazy busy? check. Working parent and juggler, probably.  Fighter?  Definitely.

Some of us went into the adoption process single from the start, some became single along the way, and some of us are ‘prospective adopters’.  Either way, I can’t find a single active Real World group out there to meet and greet and share, and even if I could I wouldn’t be able to attend because of all the above.  So, being  a woman of action I thought I’d remedy our isolated situation to create a portal for us all to share and connect, lament and celebrate, vent and soothe.

Spread the word.  Build the community!

Here are the current Single Adopter Bogs we can find, putting their stories out there:

1. My Adoption Journey

2. New Pyjamas

3. Suddenly Mummy

4. Rainbow Portion

5. Adopt and Keep Calm

6. My Single Adoption

7. Another Mountain

8.  3 Girls Together

9. Pedalling Solo

10. MeandMiniMees

11. Befuddled Mum

12. Starfish and Me

13. Imperfectly Perfect Mother

14. Sarah Fisher

15. Mumdrah

16. Adoptive Black Mom

17. YOU!  Send me an email or tweet me to add yours…